Ducking Curve Balls

Every year on the anniversary of my birth the year I was born, and not the number of candles on my birthday cake, changes – P.S. My DOB is now February 14, 1981.  This is when I make my New Year’s Resolutions.

Devotees will know that in December I flirted with the idea that this would be my “Detox Year” and get rid of the people and things in my life that ail me.  I still think that’s a good one, and here’s my other one:  A Year of No Decisions.

Why so indecisive you ask?

I noticed that lately things are changing around me at breakneck speed.  I don’t know if it’s that I’m slowing down or what, but every time I turn around, something else is changing on me.  I barely have time to catch my breath from one life-change before I’m thrust into a new one.  Honestly, I can’t deal with so much change.  I, who am the Queen of Status Quo.

This year, I’m putting my foot down.  I may not be able to control what’s going on around me, but I can control how I react to it. Or whether or not I react to it. And ordinarily, I’m a big reactor. You might just come to the conclusion that I’m a “go-alonger” because I adjust my attitude, ideas, and direction according to what’s coming at me.

And I’m always looking at all the angles, trying to see things from another’s perspectives.  The problem with doing that is I often don’t know what I really think about anything.  I can’t even decide what I want to be now I’m getting ready to leave one career and move on to another.  There are so many options, so many things that sound good and right, that I don’t know which of them I’d be happier doing.  I don’t know where I want to be in five years beyond a lovely, nebulous idea of content.

So for the next year, I’m going to go about my business and not worry about the future or the past. I’m going to maintain.  I’m going to move forward.  But only on the path I’m currently on.  If life throws me curve balls, I’ll just duck.

Hopefully, by the next time my year changes, I’ll have a clearer idea of who I am, what I want, and which direction to take to get me to that contented place in my birth year 1987.

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