So What Brings You to Denver?

I flew in late yesterday evening.

I took the Super Shuttle from the airport to my hotel. There were nine of us packed in like sardines. Eight men and me. At one point someone commented that, if they tried to get anyone else on the shuttle someone was going to have to sit on someone’s lap.

So, I said, “Well, I have to get to know someone a little bit better before I sit in their lap.”

Without missing a beat, the man next to me turned and asked me, “So what brings you to Denver?”

I’m here for a conference. About a hundred of us are packed into a little room, again like sardines, to hear about policy changes and marketing techniques. And we get to drink a lot of bad coffee and suck on Jolly Ranchers. I’ve already gone around and filched everyone else’s cherry-flavored ones. They’re my favorite.

Tomorrow we have team building on the schedule. We’ll be doing an obstacle course. Now, when I schedule team building for my office, it consists of a case of beer and a trip to the Par 3, but that’s me. And, you know, just so long as I don’t have to do anymore “trust falls”… I mean, right?

After today’s session, we had mandatory networking for a couple of hours. Can you imagine? We were scheduled to converse with each other for two hours. Does anyone else work for a company like this? Seriously, I’ve only had one employer my entire adult life. Is this normal?

So we were all smashed by six o’clock, and I suddenly got very huggy.

After I hugged, like, the fifth person, I scooted on up to my room to order some room service and isolate myself until my beer buzz went away.

It seemed like a better idea than sticking around, because the way it was looking, I was definitely gonna end up on someone’s lap.

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