The Five Commandments Moses Didn’t Bring Down…

Thou shalt not…

  1. Tell your new Pilates instructor that her beginner classes might be a “tad too beginner” for you and not expect repercussions.
  2. Bring up Gerard Butler ever, ever again. Not even in passing. As a matter of fact, it might be a good idea to stay away from wearing plaid, drinking whiskey, and playing golf for a bit, too.
  3. Write about guys you’re dating or have dated in your blog. Bad, very bad. Say ten Hail Mary’s and a plague upon your house!
  4. Utter the words “I’ll take care of everything” and be surprised when you’re left taking care of everything. Since when did people start taking me seriously?
  5. Speak at an event when you’re so exhausted that your mouth and brain have begun to work independently of each other. Sure, I can spell my name for you so you get it right when you write your story for the paper.

So, that was my weekend. How was yours?



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