Got a call from Carrie this evening as I was walking into Whole Foods.
“I know which movie star you are,” she told me. She and Mr. Carrie are childfree this weekend as Little Carrie is with her dad and they’d just come back from seeing a movie.
“Oh, cool. Which one?”
“Really? I thought that was just because of that movie, 27 Dresses.” Devotees will remember that I’m big at weddings.
“Yeah, well that one, too, but this is the second movie I’ve seen her in where she has the same mannerisms as you and talks like you.”
Boy has a huge crush on Katherine Heigl. I decide not to mention this. Too weird.
“You saw that movie she’s in with Gerard Butler?”
“Yeah, it was cute,” she tells me.
“So does she at least get to make out with him?”
Gerard Butler is so on my laminated list of people I get to make out with if I ever meet them. And, um, he’s willing to make out with me, of course. Not planning on getting a restraining order or anything… I mean, have you seen him? And that accent? Come on.
Someone gave me a 30% off coupon while I was trying on clothes today at The Gap. How awesome is that?! It was good at The Gap, Old Navy, and Banana Republic. Since I was shopping alone, I had asked a mother and daughter in the dressing room next to mine how the Boyfriend Jeans I was trying on looked. The mom said they were cute. The daughter said they were too baggy. Then, she gave me the coupon. I bought the baggy jeans anyway.
And what’s up with all the stores making their sizes bigger? This has got to be the most annoying trend ever. If they’re going to do this, they need to keep someone on standby in the dressing rooms to go fetch smaller sizes for you. I can’t tell you how many times I had to trudge barefoot out on the floor in pants that were sliding off me and bare feet to get a new size.
I was on the verge of asking the mother who kept apologizing for the three-year-old who kept poking her head under my dressing room door to “go grab me these in a size two and all will be forgiven.”
Would that have been wrong?
Okay, so the shopping spree is over for now. None of my girlfriends I called to come partake of my 30% off pass could make it up to the mall before they closed at six. Got some new clothes and refills for my Wallflowers from Bath and Body Works. Now, I just have to find a way to return those boob shirts Boy’s friend shamed me into without her finding out and slide the whole, “is it okay that I make out with Gerard Butler if I ever have the chance?” thing into conversation.
I mean, after all, I am just like Katherine Heigl. You’d think that’d score me a free pass…