Perfect, My Ass

Oh, my gosh, I’ve had a day. It was mostly fun stuff, but I’m exhausted.  There’s a good chance I smell, too, but I’m too tired to do anything about it right this second…

The whole office went out to the driving range at lunch.  We spent two hours out in the heat hitting balls and getting pointers from the course pro.  I told a little fib and said, “I’ve never done this before.”  But like we haven’t all used that line…  Anyway, I got some extra attention, and that’s always good. The instructor told me to only worry about “contact” and was duly impressed that I made contact quite a lot.

We got back to the office about an hour-and-a-half before quitting time and screwed around until it was time to leave.  Not very productive but good for morale.

Went to see Kahlua this afternoon.  I brought a big bag of carrots with me to pass around.  I’m on a new mission to make every horse at the barn love me.  I shoot for the moon, huh?


Got home at six right before the rain started.  The neighborhood handyman, Tim, came by as I was trying to get Dog out for his walk before the rain began to really fall.  He ended up walking with me while Dog dilly-dallied and we made plans to get together this weekend to go tree shopping for my backyard.  Lily’s been telling me that I need some “hardscape” back there for years.  I’ve finally given in.

You just know Dog screwed around long enough for us all to get soaked before we made it home.

Where I found an envelope from my writing instructor with my final portfolio graded and with a very sweet note telling me I should send out my last short story for publication. Wow.  That was unexpected.  And here I thought all the comments about it being self-indulgent crap were sincere… Seriously, though, she said some very nice things.  She was a great teacher.

So, I think someone’s trying to move into my dating rotation.  I’ve been pretty happy with my pair and a spare.  You know, nothing serious.  Just people to do fun stuff with.  Bottom line is, I haven’t been looking.  But here’s how my conversation with this guy went:

Me:  “What do you mean you want to spend time with me?  Isn’t that what we’re doing?”

Him:  “No, I mean, real time.”

Me:  “But I don’t even like you.”

Him:  “That’s okay.”

Me:  “No, I mean there are days I can’t stand you.”

Him:  “Perfect.”

Now he’s texting and calling me.  I return about every third text – usually the one that reads “Are you alive?” and I don’t take his calls.  He’s persistent, but I can wait this one out.

What a weirdo.

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