Just got back from a conference. Team Building for Southeast Regional Department Heads, or to put it more plainly, Four Day Bitch Session with Beer and Golf. Oh, the stories I could tell. But I had to sign a non-disclosure agreement, so I’ll only share the stuff that won’t get me sued…
We started off with a quick trip off the Disney property to the Walmart behind one of the many Hess stations they have in the area. We picked up beer and the various other necessities we’d forgotten. I went with two of the nine other department heads. Picked up a phone charger, because I forgot both of mine. Picked up coffee, because the stuff in the room wasn’t fit for human consumption. Picked up Milk Duds and Hot Tamales because they were at the register in cute little milk carton looking containers, and I hadn’t eaten yet. I’m nothing if not an impulse shopper.
The first night was all about catching up over beers and tequila. As was the second and third night, but I digress.
All the department heads are Type-A, so you can imagine what it’s like when you get a group of them in a room with a non-attribution policy. The conference opened up with an open attack on the leadership from corporate. Always a nice way to begin. May as well set the tone early.
That night we ended up at a Joe’s Crab Shack. Pitchers of margaritas later, a bunch of these guys are up doing the Charlie Brown with the wait staff. I have pictures! Blackmail is only one of the many services I offer. I’m sitting at the table with the new regional supervisor letting him buy my margaritas and repeatedly telling him he has salt on his lip just so I can watch him try to lick it off. LOL.
After dinner, he decided he needed to make a Walmart run. So we hopped in one of the rentals and off we went. He pulled out his phone and found five stores in the area. We shot for the one behind the Hess I’d gone to the night before. Two hours later after many, many stops at the various Hess stations in the area, we found it. We did our shopping, headed back to the hotel to find the whole group drinking in someone’s room. I finally got to bed at two-thirty.
Part Two of the bitch session unfolded much like Part One. One of the other guys was taking off a day early from the conference, and we made plans to head out to the driving range after we break for the day. At the end of the day, we walked over to the golf course, and I got the story of his life. I nodded and made the appropriate noises. We spent the next hour or so working on my swing. He told me, “This one’s for you,” as he sent the ball far, far away.
Before I took off to meet the rest of the group for dinner, he invited me down to the Keys to play some real golf and go out on his boat. He has two houses, a daughter in college and a bird. I told him to call me.
We went to Medieval Times for dinner. We had a blast and drank about a Big Gulp’s worth of beer out of those really big glasses. Then, everyone headed to Old Town, which is a carnival like place with a ton of shops. I hung back to take a little nap in the car. I know, I know. I’m completely lame, but I was so tired. After about fifteen minutes, I gave up and joined the rest of the group for bumper cars. Then, a bunch of the guys went on this huge swing that took them way, way up in the air and dropped them. Insane. They had fun. I would have had a heart attack.
After a quick meeting Thursday morning, we all filled out our training evaluations and headed home. Mission accomplished.
I’m going to sleep forever.