Crazy week. Finally, back in the office after six weeks away. I’m thrilled to be back. Less so with the six weeks of work waiting for me…
Took a quick business trip to Connecticut at the beginning of the week. Good God! It’s cold up there. New England is so beautiful, but after a quick, uncomfortable trip and an email from Dan, newly transplanted in Vermont, telling me it’s so cold up there that crossing the street to pick up lunch made him want to curl up in the fetal position and cry, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m definitely a warm weather person. So much for my dreams of living in a little cottage on Cape Cod when I grow up.
An older man tried to pick me up in the Providence Airport on the trip home. He went to Columbia University, owns a rooming house, a transportation company, and a sailboat he offered to take me out on if I ever make it back that way. He was sweet and so interesting, but I’m just not there yet. Still, it’s always nice to be asked…
Talked with Carrie today. I think I’m becoming a bore. She’s put up with my moping around over my last relationship for almost five months – a new record! Okay, I haven’t exactly been moping, but I haven’t exactly made myself emotionally available. She and her fiancé think I should get back out there, maybe join some singles’ clubs. Perish the thought. I’m definitely not there yet. Still, it’s an eye-opener. I do need to move forward, even if I’m not ready to move on.
Karli came by this weekend to help me clean up my garage and, by extension, my life. It’s not much, but it’s a step. Time to put my house in order, literally and figuratively.
Even after all these months, I still don’t have an answer for why I met Jack. That bothers me.
I know it was brief, and I know it doesn’t make any sense that I’m still bothered by it so much that I won’t let another man into my heart. It left a mark on me, though, and some dreams are easier to let go of than others. That’s all I can say.
I remember reading somewhere once that we’re all predestined to meet certain people, because we’re meant to learn something from them. I’m not sure how much stock I put into all that metaphysical stuff. Seems to me that it’s a lot of smoke and mirrors. Still, I was willing to buy into the whole “reason things happen” thing, so I guess if you’re in for a nickel…
Logically, though, if I can apply logic to metaphysics without the concept, and the very universe, imploding, if there’s a reason I met Jack, then there’s a reason he met me, and maybe he was the one who was supposed to learn something from me. Or it just may be that sometimes, there just aren’t any reasons or right answers or logical conclusions.
Maybe that’s the lesson I had to learn.