I found a dog the other day. She walked right in front of my car while I was on my way to the dry cleaner. Went to the houses in the area, but no one claimed her. I took her to my vet, and she’s not chipped. So, now, I have this little stinky ball of fur sleeping on a blanket in my kitchen.
She’s blind, deaf, and dumb. I thought about calling her “Love” but settled on “Stella.” She keeps bumping into my walls.
“You should have called her Helen Keller,” Sadie tells me, when I tell her about the new addition to my household.
Sadie and I are on the phone this afternoon. I’m at Whole Foods – where else? – while she’s trying to find the number for her manicurist on YellowPages.com. She tells me about this man who was murdered by his girlfriend’s estranged husband. The husband followed them and knocked the guy over with his car, and then, got out and shot him.
“What’s worse is that she pulled into the parking lot in time to see the whole thing,” she tells me.
“Love and money make people crazy,” I say. “Love seems to make people really crazy, though. I think I’m just going to settle down by myself, get some cats, and be happy.”
“Okay, Old Maid,” she says.
“Fine, then, if there’s someone for everyone, where is he?”
“Let me ask my crystal pendulum,” Sadie says. Sadie’s crystal pendulum can predict the future. There’s some rustling, and then I hear her intone, “Will Pen meet the right guy in 2009?”
“Well?” I ask.
“It says, no,” she tells me.
“That’s okay,” I say. “2009 is a transition year for me.”
“Will Pen meet the right guy in 2010?” she asks the pendulum. Waits a few seconds and says, “It says no, again.”
“What about the Magic 8 Ball? I hear they’re pretty accurate. You got one of those?” I ask, and then, “Allright. Go ahead, and ask it if I met the right one in 2008. Maybe there’s someone I overlooked.”
She asks. There’s a pause, a long one, and then, “It says, yes.”
That seems about right.
“You know, of all the genres my life could mimic, I’ve always sort of suspected it was sitcom.”
“It’s just this crystal on a string,” Sadie says.
I’m nodding on my end of the line.
“Okay, well, I’m going to head out then,” she says.
I’m still nodding as we hang up.
Josh and I were talking tonight about relationships and all that, and I told him I didn’t think it was a good idea to go about dating with an end result in mind.
“I just think it sets you up for failure,” I said. “When you go into something with the objective of getting married to or settling down with this person, you set limits on the relationship. You are basically operating under the assumption that this is a person you’d like to end up with. If that doesn’t happen, the relationship is viewed as a failure, when, in fact, it may very well have been a successful relationship that’s just run its course. Why can’t you just date to have fun?”
He told me, “Because the rules change when you get older.”
I’m not sure I agree with that. Mostly because I don’t believe in rules when it comes to love. How can something so illogical be governed? I mean, I know that there are people who say love is a choice, but I think being with someone is a choice. I don’t believe you can dictate to your heart who to love.
So, okay, I’ve been talking with this guy for a couple of weeks now. He went to a good college. He’s the right age. He’s got the right relationship status. And he likes me. All pluses. And, I met him in 2008, which apparently makes him a sure bet, according to Sadie’s crystal pendulum. He’s a little too pretty, but he’s got a good personality.
While I can overlook a shortcoming like aesthetic perfection, he’s just too perfect in more ways than his appearance. I do like my men with a few flaws. When they’re perfect, you end up scrambling around for the first six months trying to be perfect, too. I just don’t have the time for that mess. I guess I’ll have to wait and see what happens. Maybe there’ll be a crack in the façade.
I know I said I wasn’t going to date right now, but, like Stella with my walls, I just keep bumping into it. Besides, I’m really not a cat person.