Noses and Tails

Babysitting tonight for a friend.  The little girl’s a doll.  She calls me “Miss Paige” and is presently sweeping my house.  She’s definitely a girly girl.  I watch her and see myself at that age.

When I was a little girl, I wanted to grow up to be like Samantha on Bewitched.  The magical powers, the wiggling nose, the two kids, the meddling neighbor, relatives and mother, the dressing up in cute little outfits and helping my husband in and out of pickles, I wanted it all.  Okay, so her husband was gay, but that’s beside the point.

I just wanted to get married, have a couple of kids, and be a housewife.  It was truly all I aspired to.  I can’t say I’m unhappy with the way my life has turned out.  I’m not.   It’s just a million times different than what I thought it would be.  I mean, it sure isn’t Bewitched.


Went to lunch with the guys from the work-thing today.  We went to Fish Tales down in St Pete, this neat little bar and restaurant where people can pull up their boats and have lunch and a beer.  The guys and I are going in all kinds of different directions and have all these projects going at once.  I hope it all comes together in the end.  What I find really strange is how these guys I didn’t even know three weeks ago have become such a huge part of my everyday life so quickly.

Their numbers are all programmed into my phone, and I’m actually on an “it’s me” basis with half of them already.  Whenever anyone needs anything, we all drop what we’re doing to get it done.  I know their schedules, how they met their wives, how many kids they have, and their plans for the future in the organization. I have people I consider close friends that I spend less time with and don’t know half as well.

What’s even stranger is that I know once this project is completed, we’ll walk away and probably not cross paths professionally again.  Their numbers will drop out of my contacts list.  We’ll see each other rarely, if at all.  And the camaraderie we have will be replaced with that of the people we work with on a regular basis.  And that’s how it should be, I guess.

But maybe Josh is right about the rules changing when you get older with respect to relationships. Not so much with these guys, but with these kinds of relationships.    In the past, I’ve always been able to get close and let go.  I looked at that as a gift, that ability to let go of the person without letting go of what I’d gained from the relationship.  But as I get older and meet fewer new people, I find myself wanting to keep in touch with those who do come to mean something to me in a way I never needed to before.

There are just some people that I want to be able to wiggle my nose at and hold on to forever.

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